Tinder. It’s a scary idea, it’s a scary app, it’s a scary concept to tell mom and dad, “I met the man of my dreams on Tinder!” or the more common phrase to tell our friends and roommates, “I met this really hot guy on Tinder!”
We don’t like to admit it, and we certainly don’t like to admit using it, but Tinder and other similar apps are now the new way to meeting people. It’s three of my favorite f-words: free, fun, and fast. In an age of millennials addicted to their iPhones and tablets and starting to jump into a world of (semi) serious relationships, Tinder allows us to bail on one person and jump to another, no feelings hurt, no security risk where people have your actual contact info, it’s a way to escape the actual human contact that we as a society seem to fear now.
Last year as part of an assignment I was told to make an account on a randomly selected social media (drawn from a hat) and I had the misfortune of drawing Tinder. At the time, it felt like the end of the world, “Everyone who sees me on here is going to think that I’m this boy-crazed, obsessive girl just looking for a good time!” And that wasn’t me, and to some extent isn’t (I mean I’m obsessive, but over tv shows, and food, and music, just everything I’m passionate about I obsess over, alright?) who I am today. I followed the app for the extent of the project then quickly jumped off, deleted my profile, and deleted the app. I felt safe and secure. And it so happened that two months after that I was in a (semi) serious relationship.
Then that ended (on good terms) and I was once again thrust into the world of dating. A scary, monster of a world.
Two and a half months after stepping out of that aforementioned serious relationship, finally feeling able to move on, I took the jump, re-downloaded the app, and made my profile once again. It’s been quite the experience I’ll admit. I’ve gone on a few dates with matches that had Facebook connections with my friends (Don’t worry, I first checked with my friends and made sure that they weren’t serial killers or cheating on their girlfriends!) and found that the dating world isn’t so scary anymore.
Tinder isn’t something to be feared, and it may not be the app for you! That’s fine! It certainly wasn’t for me a year ago. But I want to emphasize the point that Tinder doesn’t throw a target on your back saying, “desperate,” “needy,” or any other word that you may associate with Tinder. For me, it was a confidence booster, a step in a new direction, a new me, and a way for me to realize that my Tinder target wasn’t a target at all, but a stop sign saying, “This woman is fierce, independent, and confident enough to smile and work this profile.”
So share your Tinder profile, tell Mom and Dad (OK, maybe only your roommates) about the nice young man *insert eye roll here* you met on Tinder, and realize that dating and all the platforms that come with it aren’t all that scary.
Note: I am not sponsored by Tinder, I just thought that this would be a fun article to write and I have personal experience with Tinder and wanted to share my tale:)