I have known for a long time that my friends from high school might not manage to stay on as lifelong friends and companions, but a girl can dream right? We all have those friends from our high-school and middle school days that we believe will be around forever. They’ll be there for major birthdays, for parties, they’re the wedding party material, the godparents of future children, and ‘aunts’ and ‘uncles’ when they’re at family functions. That’s the romantic-comedy dream that we all live with and imagine. I desperately wish that every person could have at least one friend that never disappears, never wavers, never ‘ghosts’ you for major parts of their life, from grade school to graduation to great ages.
I am proud to say that one of my childhood best friends has invited me to be part of her wedding party, it seemed that we were one of the few who had managed the goal of best friends for life. I’m to be the girl to hold her dress while she pees, the one to help her decide on her wedding dress, assist in picking out favors, in coordinating engagement parties and bachelorette parties to be remembered for years to come. I am thrilled that she chose me to be part of her special day, alongside other important people in her life, including her twin sister, her family members and future family members from her future husband’s side. But I would be lying to myself to say that it’s real, that it’s the perfect reality of what we all imagined.
Because as much as I love and value her friendship, I’m no longer an essential piece of her life. I am no longer one of three go-to’s when it seems like the world is ending. I don’t know if she realizes it quite yet, but slowly, her high school friends are fading into non-existence, into polite conversation, into the realm of speaking on birthdays and receiving cards at Christmas. I’m no longer a ‘ride or die’ and it’s not her fault. It’s not my fault. It’s no one’s fault in general to be honest.
I plan on creating a life almost 500 miles from the area in which I grew up, and where all of my friends live and plan to continue living. I’ll see them at holidays, special events, and the dreaded class reunions to come. At class reunions, we’ll stand with our future partners talking about the ‘good ole days’ and how much we have changed in the past so and so years. We’ll talk about our kids, our careers, vacations, and reminisce on the memories we made in the small little town in SE Missouri.
We are now part of the age group where our future spouses, our co-workers, our spouse’s co-workers, our college roommates and friends now make up a large part of our social life, where our former ‘ride or dies’ become friends that won’t be asked for their opinions on major life decisions. While it saddens me to think that I probably won’t ask my high school friends about my grad school options, or whether I should wear this dress or that dress on my upcoming dates, I have discovered the newest reality of life.
We may move on from our past friends, but that’s not necessarily the worst thing to happen in our lives, in fact it may provide growth for us as successful human beings. In the coming year, I will be at my high school best friend’s wedding, a large, sincere smile spread across my face as she steps into the next phase in her life, I will hold her dress while she pees, help her with wedding invitations, and work as hard as I need to to help her make her day everything she wants it to be, and I will be crying tears of joy just as hard as her mom.
But I will know in my heart that this moment is temporary, that our future spouses will become our best friends, that this moment will become a fond and happy memory and that moving on isn’t something to be feared, but something to be embraced.
(The links in this post are connected to various Pinterest pins regarding weddings and movie references.)